Harry Elias Partnership LLP Family and Divorce Partner Clement Yap was quoted in an article by The Straits Times titled “‘I love you’: What is stopping Singaporeans from saying these three words?”
On why words matter, Clement believes Singaporeans should be more willing to say the L-word in their daily lives.
Looking back on his childhood, Clement can see why many would avoid it. “With my parents, the closest they got to saying ‘I love you’ was saying ‘drive safely’ or ‘text me when you get there’. That’s the culture a lot of us grew up in, and I suppose we model our parents in certain ways.”
Clement also observes that lack of communication is one of the primary reasons couples break up. While many would place the blame on infidelity or conflict, in reality, relationships fail because couples have lost the ability to speak to each other without causing hurt.
It is not uncommon for couples on the verge of splitting up to say their partners have become mere “roommates” occupying the same space after love is lost.
“I once heard marriage described as: I am handing you a knife aimed at my neck and trusting you not to stab me,” Clement says, noting that it is natural to be reluctant to open oneself to such a risk, especially if one has been hurt before. “When we open up and let someone in, it’s a great thing, but it also means they have the capacity to destroy us,” Clement adds.
Read in full here.